“You didn’t fix the coffee pot last night.”
Those were the first words I said to myself the other morning. I didn’t start the day out being kind to myself, instead, before I was even fully awake, I’d accused myself of wrong doing.
What a way to start the week!
This could have easily escalated into me making a whole long list of very important things I did not do that I should have. (Vacuum the living room comes to mind.)
Instead a kind, gentle voice in my mind said, “Yes, but…”
Then I was able to fill in the end of that sentence with things that I did do instead:
- Visited my mom.
- Read a book.
- Watched 101 Dalmatians with my kids.
- Babysat my sister’s kids because she was a bridesmaid in a wedding.
- Watched the kids swim for 2 hours.
- Took the kids (her’s and mine) to the wedding reception so they could dance their feet off and catch the bouquet (my daughter).
- Brought the kids (her’s and mine) home and tucked their tired feet into bed.
- Ate chocolate birthday cake to celebrate my sister’s 34th birthday.
- Played solitaire with my kids. Which makes it not at all solitary.
- Listen to Eragon with my kids.
- Washed clothes, and dishes, and cleaned up toys.
That list is all things that involved family.
Family is the top priority on my list of things to do, always.
“Yes, but…” thinking switched off the negativity
I was able to get the day off to a much more positive start.
So, if you find yourself mentally writing that list of things you didn’t do, in life or in business …
Take a minute to rewire your brain.
Challenge it to take a different direction. Use “Yes, but…” or “Yes, and …” or anything that works for you to get it grooving to a more positive tune.
How do you reset your brain after a self-inflicted negative attack?
p.s. After this experience I Googled “yes, but…” (What a funny thing to Google!) and found a book called “Yes, But…: The Top 40 Killer Phrases and How You Can Fight Them.” This book lists “yes, but…” as a killer phrase and offers advice on how to fight back.
“Yes, but …” seems to work for me, despite the negative connotation, so I’m going with my theory of do what works!